Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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