so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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