FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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