Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
