They have a pepper shaker for pot.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
