all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
