Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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