I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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