Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
