How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
