Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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