Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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