He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
