five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
