Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
