I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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