best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
