So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
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My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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