So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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