Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
