She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
