I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?