I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.