You made me cry and you don't even care
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.