John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
