remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize