so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
