I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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