Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
