you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
