Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
