i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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