so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
