Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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