Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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