I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize