he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
