while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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