I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
