Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
