What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
