I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
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