Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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