the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize