You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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