The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize