we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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