opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
