I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize