he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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