you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
