shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
time to smoke my breakfast
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
