my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
