Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
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Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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