at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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