K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
