whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
