'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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