Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
