Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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