My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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