Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
