in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
