i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
