How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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